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    Graduate To A Better Hotel

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Tourists & Travel

    (In about a year my son is graduating from a large university with over 10,000 graduates. We have to make our hotel reservation really early to guarantee a room. I am calling the front desk of a particular hotel back about a room on the date they told me they’d start taking reservations.)

    Employee: “Hello, this is [Hotel] in [Town]. How may I help you?”

    Me: “Yes I’d like two rooms for this time next year for the college graduation. I need the room from [date] to [date].”

    (I am requesting a room for three days and two nights. It will be from a Thursday to Saturday.)

    Employee: “I am sorry but due to the fact that it is graduation weekend your reservation needs to be for at least two nights.”

    Me: “It is.”

    Employee: “How?”

    Me: “Thursday night and Friday night.”

    Employee: “Oh! That doesn’t work.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Employee: “Because it needs to be two weekend nights.”

    Me: “So you’re going to make me stay an extra night even though the ceremonies end on Friday and I have no reason to stay an extra night?”

    Employee: “Yes.”

    (This goes back and forth for a couple of minutes with me trying to convince her that I should be able to get the room for the dates I want. I don’t have any luck.)

    Me: “Okay? So how much are rooms anyways?”

    Employee: “$600 per room per night.”

    (Note that this three-star hotel usually charges no more than $200 per night per room.)

    Me: “So, you want me to pay an extra $1200 for two rooms I don’t need.”

    Employee: “I guess.”

    Me: “Well, I am sorry but not only is that a lot for a room I don’t have the extra money to spend on a room I don’t want. Nor do I want to. I will be booking somewhere else.”

    Employee: “Fine then! We don’t want customers like you anyway. Someone else will gladly take this room. Good luck finding a better deal.”

    Me: “Good-bye.”

    (I did find a room at a different hotel for closer to $250 per night per room who treated me a lot nicer and thanked me for my service. They also didn’t make me charge for a night I didn’t want.)

    Dealing With The Cable Guy

    | England, UK | Employees, Technology

    (I am working 12-hour night shifts, so I am exhausted from start to finish, but I need some bits and go to an electronics store, straight from work. I wander around the store half asleep.)

    Worker: “Can I help you?”

    Me: *still half asleep* “Yes, I’m looking for some cable. I—”

    Worker: *interrupting me* “Well, yes, I think we do sell cable here. Do you know what type of cable you might be looking for?”

    Me: *deadpan* “Audio cable.”

    Worker: *with attitude* “Well, that doesn’t narrow down very much! ”

    Me: “Look, just fetch me six meters of paired bell wire, a male to female coax, a pack of cable pins, and drop the attitude.”

    Worker: *stands there motionless, mouth open*

    Me: *sweetly* “Now, please.”

    Interscrew

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, New Hires

    (I am invited to interview at a popular quick service joint. I am not made aware that it will be a group interview. My interview is scheduled well before the place’s actual opening time, so naturally the doors are locked, but I can see employees inside getting ready for the day.)

    Me: *knocking gently on the door* “Hello? I’m here to see [Interviewer].”

    (Not one of the employees even look up. Another person walks up next to me.)

    Interviewee #1: “You’re here for an interview, too?”

    Me: “Yeah. What time’s yours?”

    Interviewee #1: “Nine.”

    Me: “So’s mine. I guess we’re interviewing together.”

    (It’s five minutes to nine, so we make more attempts to get the employee’s attention. Not once do they ever acknowledge us in any way. By ten past, two more interviewees have shown up.)

    Interviewee #2: “What the h***? They better not count this as late!”

    (We all decide to stick around until 9:30, and just as we start to walk away, the doors fly open.)

    Interviewer: “Where have you all been?! We were supposed to have finished by now! Why are you all late?!”

    Interviewee #1: “We weren’t late! We were out here on time, but no matter how many times we knocked on the door or asked to be let in, those employees of yours wouldn’t even look at us!”

    Interviewer: “Well that’s not my fault. You all should have tried harder!”

    Me: *losing my temper* “How? Slamming ourselves against the door? Screaming our heads off? We all knocked and spoke loud enough to be heard. Why didn’t you come out to see us when it was time?”

    Interviewer: “It’s not my job to be here on time. It’s your job. And you all failed miserably at that! You’re all lucky we’re short staffed or I’d turn you all out!”

    Me: “You know what? I don’t want to work for you. Let someone else deal with your b**** a**. Oh, and I’ll make sure to be calling into corporate about how you deal with prospective employees.”

    (The rest all murmur in agreement, and we simultaneously head for our cars.)

    Interviewer: “Fine! Leave! You’ll be sorry when you find yourself in some dead end job and on the street! I hope you rot!”

    (I flipped her off without turning around and drove away from there as fast as I could.)

    A Portrait Of A Stupid Landscape

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, New Hires

    (The senior partner’s nephew works for us as a copy clerk for the summer and the fact that this kid got into college HAS TO have something to do with Uncle Senior Partner. This kid is AMAZINGLY stupid. One day the copier, which has three trays (8-1/2″ x 11″, 8-1/2″ x 14″ and 11″ x 8-1/2″)  runs out of paper in that third drawer. I walk by as he is looking mystified at the supply cabinet where all the paper is labeled either 8-1/2″ x 11″ or 8-1/2″ x 14″. I see the blinking light on the copier and knew what the problem is: it was out of 11″ x 8-1/2 paper.)

    Me: “What’s the problem?”

    Young Employee: “We don’t have the paper the copier wants.”

    (I picked up a packet of the 8-1/2″ x 11″)

    Me: “Look, we can MAKE SOME.” *turns the paper on its side*

    Young Employee: “Whoa, that’s FAR OUT!”

    Unwanted Reaction To The Joke

    | WA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

    (I’m at a popular burger chain with my boyfriend. Due to allergies, I can’t have mayo. I order some food, and when I order my burger…)

    Me: “And no mayo on the [burger], please.”

    Cook: *pops out of the kitchen* “Extra mayo, then!”

    (I know he’s joking, but I give him the most dead serious look.)

    Me: “I will vomit on every surface I can if you give me mayo.”

    Cook: “…No mayo it is.”


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