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  • Questioning Your Security Methods

    | CA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    (A few years ago I called into a customer service center to alter service on my account.)

    Representative: “How may I help you?”

    Me: “I’d like to remove [service] from my account as I’m not using it anymore.”

    Representative: “Sure thing. Can I get your account number?”

    Me: “[Account number].”

    Representative: “And your name?”

    Me: “[My Name].”

    Representative: “Great. Now to verify your identity, can you please tell me your security question?”

    Me: “…excuse me?”

    Representative: “Can you please provide me with your security question?”

    Me: “I don’t know my security question. You’re supposed to provide me the question so I can answer it.”

    Representative: “I’m sorry, sir, but we need you to provide your security question in order to verify your identity before I can continue.”

    Me: “But that makes no sense. Nobody makes a customer memorize the question, only the answer. There are countless possible questions each company can ask, and I can’t be expected to memorize both the question AND the answer.”

    Representative: “Sir, if you can’t provide me the security question to verify your identity, I’ll have to terminate this call.”

    Me: “I’ll save you the trouble.”

    (I called back a few minutes later and got a different rep who understood how security questions work.)

    A Conventional Situation

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I’m at a hotel for a local convention. I’m trying to order on the pizza place’s online site for delivery, but thanks to a software glitch it won’t let me order two different kinds of soda. So I call the store and explain the issue.)

    Employee #1: “It would probably be better if I just took your order over the phone. What can I get for you?”

    (So I place the order, including the address of the hotel and the room number, and a callback number.)

    Employee #1: “All right, it should be ready at about 10:15.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    (It gets as late as 11:08 with no callback. So I call in.)

    Employee #2: “Thank you for choosing [Pizza Chain]. What can I get for you?”

    Me: “Yeah, I had a delivery order that was supposed to be here almost an hour ago.”

    Employee #2: “I can check on that for you. What’s your name?”

    Me: “[My Name].”

    Employee #2: “…and this was a delivery order, or carryout?”

    Me: “Delivery…?”

    Employee #2: “Ah… hold on. Let me get my manager.”

    (After a brief wait, the manager comes on, sounding fairly upbeat. It turns out the order was listed as carryout, so it had been waiting at the store for us! We get to replacing the order, and the manager offers to send it for free due to the wait. While we’re getting the order replaced, she says this:)

    Manager: “Yeah, it’s been a crazy night with the convention and the Saturday.”

    Me: “I don’t blame you at all.”

    (While we’re confirming the order…)

    Manager: “And that was a two-liter of [Popular Soda] and a two-liter of [Another Popular Soda]?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Manager: “Can you tell I’m losing my mind yet?!”

    (That comment was what made my night! The rest of the order went without a hitch.)

    Sharing Is Scaring

    | San Jose, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees

    (My best friend moved recently and lacks some necessities like toilet paper so while we are getting snacks I grab a pack. The cashier that evening is very grumpy.)

    Cashier: “You guys gonna share?”

    Friend: “Yeah, wanna join?”

    A Global Imposition

    | Rochester, NY, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Time, Transportation

    (While in college I relied on trains to get to and from my home for breaks. I had a car, but didn’t trust the area of town the train station was, and instead elected to take taxis from campus to the station. On this occasion, I called for a taxi a few hours in advance to be sure they’d have time to reach me.)

    Me: *calling dispatcher* “Yeah, my taxi was supposed to show up about 15 minutes ago, and he’s still not here.”

    Dispatcher: “Well, he says he’s on his way.”

    Me: “Well, okay, but I have a train to catch, so this is kind of time sensitive.”

    Dispatcher: “I’ll let him know.”

    (Fifteen minutes later and still no taxi. I’m getting really anxious now as the grace period I left myself is running out, so I call again.)

    Dispatcher: “I’m sorry, miss, but all I can say is he’s on his way. I’ll try to contact him again.”

    (A few minutes later, my phone rings.)

    Driver: “Yeah, I’m just trying to find your apartment… it’s kind of hard.”

    Me: “My apartment is ON CAMPUS! On the academic side!”

    Driver: “Oh… OH! Okay! I gotcha. I’ll be there in a minute.”

    (Finally the cab pulls up and I all but throw my bags into the trunk.)

    Driver: “Sorry about the wait. What time is it, anyway?”

    Me: *noticing a GPS on his dashboard displaying the time* “It’s [time]. And you know, it says right there on your GPS.”

    Driver: “Oh, that thing. I never look at that.”

    (Well, maybe you should have, buddy! I almost missed my train!)

    Finally On The Money

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Money

    (I volunteer to answer phones for a charity event to get pledges. We are supposed to answer ‘hello, thank you for calling [Charity]. My name is [My Name]. May I take your pledge amount?’)

    Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [My actual full time job Company]… Er, no, I meant, thank you for calling [Other Company I work at part time]… Wait, no, that’s not right…” *getting really flustered* “Thank you for calling… Oh, heck, just give me your money!”

    (The caller thought it was hilarious and pledged $500!)


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